CONTACT

[interior]

Comments

text; in the slendy aftermath

[dead_tongue]

you better be ok.

[interior]

I'm fine. Just need a little downtime.

But advice for next time I'm busy: try not to actively taunt the mind-control monster?

1/2

[dead_tongue]

ok.

[Dull hurt. He was trying to help! To keep its attention away from other more useful people! Why does he just keep screwing up?]

ok

2/2

[dead_tongue]

no wait you know what? not ok!

I was trying to help! if it went after ME it would leave other people alone! I had a plan and ok maybe it wasn't as good a plan as you'd come up with but that doesn't mean it was terrible. god, nothing I do is good enough for you, Takeshi.

[interior]

[This is clearly not going to go well with Iggy able to assume whatever tone he wants from Takeshi's messages, so he swaps to voice. Sounding tired, but more gently amused than annoyed:]

Feel better?

[dead_tongue]

No!

[Poor Kovacs - just immediately subjected to sniffling.]

I was worried about you, you ass!

...you're really not mad at me?

[interior]

Iggy, do me a favour, take a minute and try to think of one time I've been mad at you.

[dead_tongue]

When I apologised to you?

[Sniffle.]

I'm sorr-- I mean. I didn't mean to assume, it's just been very... I've messed up a lot. I thought you might be actually mad.

It doesn't matter. You're okay!

[interior]

I don't get mad about mistakes. We all mess up. It's intentional shit that pisses me off. Which you apologising didn't do, for the record.

Where are you?

[dead_tongue]

Okay. Sorry for being a bitch, you didn't deserve that.

Bed. You?

[interior]

[There's the sense of a shrug.]

Like you said, I'm an ass.

Boarding house or elsewhere?

[dead_tongue]

Yeah, but I love you anyway.

[A sense of sadness.] Uhm. The brothel. I know we're not supposed to, but since it's closed anyway, why not, you know? I don't really feel like being around the boarding house right now.

[interior]

Take my room. Sideboards are stocked with dry goods.

[Seeing as he's never paid attention to that "not supposed to".]

I'm at the boarding house, but I'll come by and see you tomorrow. If you're alone, don't be, it's not going to make anything easier.

[dead_tongue]

You naughty thing, you. I'll take stuff if I need it.

Okay. I'd like to see you. But I'm not gonna go be near anybody right now, thanks. I just want to be alone.

[interior]

[Iggy not wanting to be near anybody? That's a fucking wailing siren of a red flag.]

Tell me what happened.

[dead_tongue]

Uh. Junpei's boyfriend turned into a mind controlling monster and got a bunch of people killed in awful ways that traumatised the people it used to do the killing?

[interior]

Don't be cute. You know what I'm asking.

[dead_tongue]

A lot happened. I'm sick with worry about Eddie and Jem and Billy. I was worried about you. I was worried about Ianthe, and John. I was up to my elbows in corpses, Takeshi.

It was a lot.

[interior]

So you hide yourself away in an empty brothel and don't want to be near any of those people?

Tell me what happened, Iggy.

[dead_tongue]

They're all safe now and recovering. They don't need me. I'm not really half as helpful as I thought I was, you know? I've been here for months and I figured, hey, I help people! I can give them love and support and be who they need so they can be happy. I help them.

But I don't. I was fucking useless, Takeshi. I'm good for exactly one thing: handling bodies. Dead or alive.

So, yeah, I just want to stay here where it's quiet.

[interior]

[Fine. He'll put the pieces together himself, then.]

You tried to help someone who was being influenced. Mind-controlled. Someone you care about. It got messy, you hurt them more than you're comfortable with, and it didn't make any difference on the influence.

You've probably reached out to them since, but they're too fucked up to deal with your shit on top of their own, so they haven't forgiven you or hurt you the way you think you should be hurt for what you did.

So now you're isolating, because you don't believe you deserve contact, especially with people you care about. And you're looking for ways to hurt yourself, physically and emotionally, preferably both at once.

[dead_tongue]

[Why does Kovacs have to be so good at this?]

...okay, I didn't ask anyone to deal with my shit. All I did was... was offer to be there. That's all.

[He's quiet a while.]

Well. Be proud of me, I didn't go find that guy you threw out of the brothel weeks ago for being too rough.

[interior]

So go be there.

[dead_tongue]

They don't want me to be there. And I promised that if they told me to leave them alone, I would.

So I want to be here for now. I'm not in any danger, and I'm better here than I am back in my empty room there.

Takeshi, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn't reach out so you could baby me, okay? It's sweet, but I don't need it.

[interior]

I'm not fucking babying you. What did you think, everyone who needs your help is going to line up like a client with a list of their preferred kinks? Of course they told you to fuck off, they're beating themselves up as much as you right now. More. Considering the extent of whatever fucked up shit they've done in the last month, they've also earned it a hell of a lot more than you.

The hard way would be being there anyway. But you took the easy way, because as much as you want to think you weren't asking for anything, you wanted something, and you didn't get it.